Life Goes On.... I Think.

Been a hard week, several dark days. Couldn't get out of bed.... hmm, scratch that, couldn't find a dominant reason why to get out of bed. Kind of how I felt in Nov and Dec, only then I DIDN'T get out of bed unless absolutely necessary. Bombed classes, other 'to do' things, some promised things (never meant to, just happened), barely kept my job. I'm better now, I think; if I just stay away from the Hagen-Daz Chocolate/Peanut Butter I'll be terrific.

Had a down day but an up ending today - yeah, with exception to writing this a nearly 4 AM. I had a 'connection time' with a long time good friend who has only become a true or truer (?) friend through all of this mess. Always wanted to 'be there' for others but am now forced to realize and accept I'm not here to save the world. I can work to make things better for others if it is within my reach and scope, but no one is expecting me to solve their problems so I shouldn't have that expectation of myself. Right now, I can barely save myself.

Having the cats wake me up in the morning becomes troublesome but to come home to an empty house would be a horror, so I make exceptions. LOL

Read a story on FB about the Alaska Army Guard now having a Drill Instructor in their ranks; wish that was me. I've always wanted to do that, I won't even be allowed back in the Guard if I don't buckle down, lose this weight, and 'Do the work!" before they drop the age back down.

Looking back on some of my 'ME' stuff, I realize I have really lost my edge, my attitude. Sure, I can turn it on when I need to, but I used to be like that 24/7 and if I don't figure it out now, I'll only get worse, not better.

I'm still trying to figure out how to get a Quicktime video downloaded on my computer, think I need to buy some kind of "UltraVersion" of QT from somewhere around $30.00. I just want to show others the video I took of Bart's testimony during the MercyMe concert. MAN, did he nail it! That lead into "Bring The Rain", good thing I ran out of memorycard time, I was a wreck.

My treasures (nieces) are here now for 6 weeks. I should stop here and get some sleep so I can clean up the apt, especially the other bedroom for whenever they stay over, hopefully they still will. In the absence of being "Dad", which sadly I don't think will ever happen [another dream lost], being "Uncle" is the GREATEST!!!!

Until next time, LIVESTRONG. Don't just be a spectator or commentator of life, LIVE IT!!
God bless.